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Original Text |
Modern Text |
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Enter MISTRESS PAGE reading a letter.
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Enter MISTRESS PAGE reading a letter.
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MISTRESS PAGE
What, have I ’scaped love letters in
the holiday time of my beauty, and am I now a
subject for them? Let me see.
She reads.
Ask me no reason why I love you, for though Love
5
use Reason for his precisian, he admits him not for
his counselor. You are not young; no more am I. Go
to, then, there’s sympathy. You are merry; so am I.
Ha, ha, then, there’s more sympathy. You love sack,
and so do I. Would you desire better sympathy? Let
10
it suffice thee, Mistress Page—at the least, if the love
of soldier can suffice—that I love thee. I will not say
pity me—’tis not a soldier-like phrase—but I say love
me. By me,
Thine own true knight,
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By day or night,
Or any kind of light,
With all his might
For thee to fight,
John Falstaff.
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What a Herod of Jewry is this! O wicked, wicked
world! One that is well-nigh worn to pieces with
age, to show himself a young gallant! What an
unweighed behavior hath this Flemish drunkard
picked—with the devil’s name!—out of my conversation,
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that he dares in this manner assay me?
Why, he hath not been thrice in my company!
What should I say to him? I was then frugal of my
mirth. Heaven forgive me! Why, I’ll exhibit a bill
in the Parliament for the putting down of men.
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How shall I be revenged on him? For revenged I
will be, as sure as his guts are made of puddings.
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MISTRESS PAGE
What, have I ’scaped love letters in
the holiday time of my beauty, and am I now a
subject for them? Let me see.
She reads.
Ask me no reason why I love you, for though Love
his counselor. You are not young; no more am I. Go
to, then, there’s sympathy. You are merry; so am I.
Ha, ha, then, there’s more sympathy. You love sack,
and so do I. Would you desire better sympathy? Let
of soldier can suffice—that I love thee. I will not say
pity me—’tis not a soldier-like phrase—but I say love
me. By me,
Thine own true knight,
Or any kind of light,
With all his might
For thee to fight,
John Falstaff.
world! One that is well-nigh worn to pieces with
age, to show himself a young gallant! What an
unweighed behavior hath this Flemish drunkard
picked—with the devil’s name!—out of my conversation,
Why, he hath not been thrice in my company!
What should I say to him? I was then frugal of my
mirth. Heaven forgive me! Why, I’ll exhibit a bill
in the Parliament for the putting down of men.
will be, as sure as his guts are made of puddings.
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Enter MISTRESS FORD.
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Enter MISTRESS FORD.
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MISTRESS FORD
Mistress Page! Trust me, I was going to
your house.
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MISTRESS FORD
Mistress Page! Trust me, I was going to
your house.
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MISTRESS PAGE
And, trust me, I was coming to you.
35
You look very ill.
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MISTRESS PAGE
And, trust me, I was coming to you.
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MISTRESS FORD
Nay, I’ll ne’er believe that. I have to
show to the contrary.
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MISTRESS FORD
Nay, I’ll ne’er believe that. I have to
show to the contrary.
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MISTRESS PAGE
Faith, but you do, in my mind.
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MISTRESS PAGE
Faith, but you do, in my mind.
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MISTRESS FORD
Well, I do, then. Yet I say I could show
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you to the contrary. O Mistress Page, give me some
counsel.
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MISTRESS FORD
Well, I do, then. Yet I say I could show
counsel.
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MISTRESS PAGE
What’s the matter, woman?
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MISTRESS PAGE
What’s the matter, woman?
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MISTRESS FORD
O woman, if it were not for one trifling
respect, I could come to such honor!
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MISTRESS FORD
O woman, if it were not for one trifling
respect, I could come to such honor!
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MISTRESS PAGE
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Hang the trifle, woman; take the honor.
What is it? Dispense with trifles. What is it?
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MISTRESS PAGE
What is it? Dispense with trifles. What is it?
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MISTRESS FORD
If I would but go to hell for an eternal
moment or so, I could be knighted.
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MISTRESS FORD
If I would but go to hell for an eternal
moment or so, I could be knighted.
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MISTRESS PAGE
What, thou liest! Sir Alice Ford? These
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knights will hack, and so thou shouldst not alter
the article of thy gentry.
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MISTRESS PAGE
What, thou liest! Sir Alice Ford? These
the article of thy gentry.
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MISTRESS FORD
We burn daylight. Here, read, read. Perceive
how I might be knighted.
(She gives a paper
to MISTRESS PAGE, who reads it.) I shall think the
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worse of fat men as long as I have an eye to make
difference of men’s liking. And yet he would not
swear; praised women’s modesty; and gave such
orderly and well-behaved reproof to all uncomeliness
that I would have sworn his disposition
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would have gone to the truth of his words. But
they do no more adhere and keep place together
than the Hundredth Psalm to the tune of
“Greensleeves.” What tempest, I trow, threw this
whale, with so many tuns of oil in his belly, ashore
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at Windsor? How shall I be revenged on him? I
think the best way were to entertain him with hope
till the wicked fire of lust have melted him in his
own grease. Did you ever hear the like?
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MISTRESS FORD
We burn daylight. Here, read, read. Perceive
how I might be knighted.
(She gives a paper
to MISTRESS PAGE, who reads it.) I shall think the
difference of men’s liking. And yet he would not
swear; praised women’s modesty; and gave such
orderly and well-behaved reproof to all uncomeliness
that I would have sworn his disposition
they do no more adhere and keep place together
than the Hundredth Psalm to the tune of
“Greensleeves.” What tempest, I trow, threw this
whale, with so many tuns of oil in his belly, ashore
think the best way were to entertain him with hope
till the wicked fire of lust have melted him in his
own grease. Did you ever hear the like?
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MISTRESS PAGE
Letter for letter, but that the name of
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Page and Ford differs! To thy great comfort in this
mystery of ill opinions, here’s the twin brother of
thy letter.
(She gives a paper to MISTRESS FORD, who
reads it.) But let thine inherit first, for I protest
mine never shall. I warrant he hath a thousand of
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these letters writ with blank space for different
names—sure, more—and these are of the second
edition. He will print them, out of doubt; for he
cares not what he puts into the press, when he
would put us two. I had rather be a giantess and lie
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under Mount Pelion. Well, I will find you twenty
lascivious turtles ere one chaste man.
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MISTRESS PAGE
Letter for letter, but that the name of
mystery of ill opinions, here’s the twin brother of
thy letter.
(She gives a paper to MISTRESS FORD, who
reads it.) But let thine inherit first, for I protest
mine never shall. I warrant he hath a thousand of
names—sure, more—and these are of the second
edition. He will print them, out of doubt; for he
cares not what he puts into the press, when he
would put us two. I had rather be a giantess and lie
lascivious turtles ere one chaste man.
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MISTRESS FORD
Why, this is the very same—the very
hand, the very words. What doth he think of us?
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MISTRESS FORD
Why, this is the very same—the very
hand, the very words. What doth he think of us?
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MISTRESS PAGE
Nay, I know not. It makes me almost
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ready to wrangle with mine own honesty. I’ll entertain
myself like one that I am not acquainted
withal; for, sure, unless he know some strain in
me that I know not myself, he would never have
boarded me in this fury.
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MISTRESS PAGE
Nay, I know not. It makes me almost
myself like one that I am not acquainted
withal; for, sure, unless he know some strain in
me that I know not myself, he would never have
boarded me in this fury.
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MISTRESS FORD
90
“Boarding” call you it? I’ll be sure to
keep him above deck.
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MISTRESS FORD
keep him above deck.
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MISTRESS PAGE
So will I. If he come under my hatches,
I’ll never to sea again. Let’s be revenged on him.
Let’s appoint him a meeting, give him a show of
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comfort in his suit, and lead him on with a fine-baited
delay till he hath pawned his horses to mine
Host of the Garter.
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MISTRESS PAGE
So will I. If he come under my hatches,
I’ll never to sea again. Let’s be revenged on him.
Let’s appoint him a meeting, give him a show of
delay till he hath pawned his horses to mine
Host of the Garter.
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MISTRESS FORD
Nay, I will consent to act any villainy
against him that may not sully the chariness of our
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honesty. O, that my husband saw this letter! It
would give eternal food to his jealousy.
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MISTRESS FORD
Nay, I will consent to act any villainy
against him that may not sully the chariness of our
would give eternal food to his jealousy.
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MISTRESS PAGE
Why, look where he comes, and my
good man too. He’s as far from jealousy as I am
from giving him cause, and that, I hope, is an
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unmeasurable distance.
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MISTRESS PAGE
Why, look where he comes, and my
good man too. He’s as far from jealousy as I am
from giving him cause, and that, I hope, is an
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MISTRESS FORD
You are the happier woman.
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MISTRESS FORD
You are the happier woman.
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MISTRESS PAGE
Let’s consult together against this greasy
knight. Come hither.
They talk aside.
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MISTRESS PAGE
Let’s consult together against this greasy
knight. Come hither.
They talk aside.
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Enter FORD with PISTOL, and PAGE with NYM.
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Enter FORD with PISTOL, and PAGE with NYM.
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FORD
Well, I hope it be not so.
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FORD
Well, I hope it be not so.
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PISTOL
110
Hope is a curtal dog in some affairs.
Sir John affects thy wife.
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PISTOL
Sir John affects thy wife.
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FORD
Why, sir, my wife is not young.
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FORD
Why, sir, my wife is not young.
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PISTOL
He woos both high and low, both rich and poor,
Both young and old, one with another, Ford.
115
He loves the gallimaufry. Ford, perpend.
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PISTOL
He woos both high and low, both rich and poor,
Both young and old, one with another, Ford.
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FORD
Love my wife?
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FORD
Love my wife?
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PISTOL
With liver burning hot. Prevent,
Or go thou like Sir Acteon, he,
With Ringwood at thy heels.
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O, odious is the name!
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PISTOL
With liver burning hot. Prevent,
Or go thou like Sir Acteon, he,
With Ringwood at thy heels.
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FORD
What name, sir?
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FORD
What name, sir?
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PISTOL
The horn, I say. Farewell.
Take heed, have open eye, for thieves do foot by
night.
125
Take heed, ere summer comes or cuckoo birds do
sing.—
Away, Sir Corporal Nym.—Believe it, Page. He
speaks sense.
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PISTOL
The horn, I say. Farewell.
Take heed, have open eye, for thieves do foot by
night.
sing.—
Away, Sir Corporal Nym.—Believe it, Page. He
speaks sense.
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He exits.
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He exits.
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FORD ,
aside
I will be patient. I will find out this.
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FORD ,
aside
I will be patient. I will find out this.
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NYM ,
to PAGE
130
And this is true. I like not the humor of
lying. He hath wronged me in some humors. I
should have borne the humored letter to her; but I
have a sword, and it shall bite upon my necessity.
He loves your wife; there’s the short and the long.
135
My name is Corporal Nym. I speak and I avouch.
’Tis true. My name is Nym, and Falstaff loves your
wife. Adieu. I love not the humor of bread and
cheese. Adieu.
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NYM ,
to PAGE
What I’m going to tell you is true. I don’t like lying. Falstaff has wronged me a few times, but I have a sword that can cut when I need it to. He loves your wife, and that’s the truth.
My name is Corporal Nym. When I speak, I speak facts. It's true. As sure as my name is Nym, Falstaff loves your wife.
Goodbye. I can’t live on the ways of bread and cheese alone. Goodbye.
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He exits.
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He exits.
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PAGE ,
aside
“The humor of it,” quoth he? Here’s a fellow
140
frights English out of his wits.
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PAGE ,
aside
“The humor of it,” quoth he? Here’s a fellow
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FORD ,
aside
I will seek out Falstaff.
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FORD ,
aside
I will seek out Falstaff.
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PAGE ,
aside
I never heard such a drawling, affecting
rogue.
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PAGE ,
aside
I never heard such a drawling, affecting
rogue.
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FORD ,
aside
If I do find it—well.
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FORD ,
aside
If I do find it—well.
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PAGE ,
aside
145
I will not believe such a Cataian, though
the priest o’ th’ town commended him for a true
man.
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PAGE ,
aside
the priest o’ th’ town commended him for a true
man.
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FORD ,
aside
’Twas a good sensible fellow—well.
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FORD ,
aside
’Twas a good sensible fellow—well.
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MISTRESS PAGE and MISTRESS FORD come forward.
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MISTRESS PAGE and MISTRESS FORD come forward.
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PAGE ,
to MISTRESS PAGE
How now, Meg?
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PAGE ,
to MISTRESS PAGE
How now, Meg?
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MISTRESS PAGE
150
Whither go you, George? Hark you.
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MISTRESS PAGE
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They talk aside.
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They talk aside.
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MISTRESS FORD ,
to FORD
How now, sweet Frank? Why
art thou melancholy?
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MISTRESS FORD ,
to FORD
How now, sweet Frank? Why
art thou melancholy?
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FORD
I melancholy? I am not melancholy. Get you
home. Go.
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FORD
I melancholy? I am not melancholy. Get you
home. Go.
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MISTRESS FORD
155
Faith, thou hast some crochets in thy
head now.—Will you go, Mistress Page?
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MISTRESS FORD
head now.—Will you go, Mistress Page?
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MISTRESS PAGE
Have with you.—You’ll come to dinner,
George?
(Aside to MISTRESS FORD.) Look who
comes yonder.
Enter MISTRESS QUICKLY.
160
She shall be our messenger to this paltry knight.
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MISTRESS PAGE
Have with you.—You’ll come to dinner,
George?
(Aside to MISTRESS FORD.) Look who
comes yonder.
Enter MISTRESS QUICKLY.
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MISTRESS FORD
Trust me, I thought on her. She’ll fit it.
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MISTRESS FORD
Trust me, I thought on her. She’ll fit it.
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MISTRESS PAGE ,
to MISTRESS QUICKLY
You are come to
see my daughter Anne?
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MISTRESS PAGE ,
to MISTRESS QUICKLY
You are come to
see my daughter Anne?
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MISTRESS QUICKLY
Ay, forsooth. And, I pray, how does
165
good Mistress Anne?
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MISTRESS QUICKLY
Ay, forsooth. And, I pray, how does
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MISTRESS PAGE
Go in with us and see. We have an
hour’s talk with you.
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MISTRESS PAGE
Go in with us and see. We have an
hour’s talk with you.
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MISTRESS PAGE , MISTRESS FORD, and
MISTRESS QUICKLY exit.
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MISTRESS PAGE , MISTRESS FORD, and
MISTRESS QUICKLY exit.
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PAGE
How now, Master Ford?
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PAGE
How now, Master Ford?
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FORD
You heard what this knave told me, did you not?
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FORD
You heard what this knave told me, did you not?
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PAGE
170
Yes, and you heard what the other told me?
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PAGE
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FORD
Do you think there is truth in them?
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FORD
Do you think there is truth in them?
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PAGE
Hang ’em, slaves! I do not think the knight
would offer it. But these that accuse him in his intent
towards our wives are a yoke of his discarded
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men, very rogues, now they be out of service.
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PAGE
Hang ’em, slaves! I do not think the knight
would offer it. But these that accuse him in his intent
towards our wives are a yoke of his discarded
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FORD
Were they his men?
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FORD
Were they his men?
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PAGE
Marry, were they.
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PAGE
Marry, were they.
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FORD
I like it never the better for that. Does he lie at
the Garter?
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FORD
I like it never the better for that. Does he lie at
the Garter?
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PAGE
180
Ay, marry, does he. If he should intend this voyage
toward my wife, I would turn her loose to him;
and what he gets more of her than sharp words, let
it lie on my head.
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PAGE
toward my wife, I would turn her loose to him;
and what he gets more of her than sharp words, let
it lie on my head.
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FORD
I do not misdoubt my wife, but I would be loath
185
to turn them together. A man may be too confident.
I would have nothing lie on my head. I cannot
be thus satisfied.
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FORD
I do not misdoubt my wife, but I would be loath
I would have nothing lie on my head. I cannot
be thus satisfied.
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Enter HOST.
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Enter HOST.
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PAGE
Look where my ranting Host of the Garter
comes. There is either liquor in his pate or money
190
in his purse when he looks so merrily.—How now,
mine Host?
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PAGE
Look where my ranting Host of the Garter
comes. There is either liquor in his pate or money
mine Host?
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HOST
How now, bullyrook? Thou ’rt a gentleman.—
Cavaleiro Justice, I say!
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HOST
How now, bullyrook? Thou ’rt a gentleman.—
Cavaleiro Justice, I say!
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Enter SHALLOW.
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Enter SHALLOW.
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SHALLOW
I follow, mine Host, I follow.—Good even
195
and twenty, good Master Page. Master Page, will
you go with us? We have sport in hand.
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SHALLOW
I follow, mine Host, I follow.—Good even
you go with us? We have sport in hand.
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HOST
Tell him, Cavaleiro Justice; tell him, bullyrook.
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HOST
Tell him, Cavaleiro Justice; tell him, bullyrook.
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SHALLOW
Sir, there is a fray to be fought between
Sir Hugh the Welsh priest and Caius the French
200
doctor.
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SHALLOW
Sir, there is a fray to be fought between
Sir Hugh the Welsh priest and Caius the French
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FORD
Good mine Host o’ th’ Garter, a word with you.
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FORD
Good mine Host o’ th’ Garter, a word with you.
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HOST
What say’st thou, my bullyrook?
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HOST
What say’st thou, my bullyrook?
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The HOST and FORD talk aside.
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The HOST and FORD talk aside.
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SHALLOW ,
to PAGE
Will you go with us to behold it?
My merry Host hath had the measuring of their
205
weapons and, I think, hath appointed them contrary
places; for, believe me, I hear the parson is no
jester. Hark, I will tell you what our sport shall be.
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SHALLOW ,
to PAGE
Will you go with us to behold it?
My merry Host hath had the measuring of their
places; for, believe me, I hear the parson is no
jester. Hark, I will tell you what our sport shall be.
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SHALLOW and PAGE talk aside.
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SHALLOW and PAGE talk aside.
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HOST ,
to FORD
Hast thou no suit against my knight,
my guest cavalier?
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HOST ,
to FORD
Hast thou no suit against my knight,
my guest cavalier?
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FORD
210
None, I protest. But I’ll give you a pottle of
burnt sack to give me recourse to him, and tell him
my name is Brook —only for a jest.
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FORD
burnt sack to give me recourse to him, and tell him
my name is Brook —only for a jest.
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HOST
My hand, bully. Thou shalt have egress and
regress—said I well?—and thy name shall be
215
Brook. It is a merry knight.
(To SHALLOW and
PAGE .) Will you go, ameers?
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HOST
My hand, bully. Thou shalt have egress and
regress—said I well?—and thy name shall be
PAGE .) Will you go, ameers?
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SHALLOW
Have with you, mine Host.
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SHALLOW
Have with you, mine Host.
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PAGE
I have heard the Frenchman hath good skill
in his rapier.
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PAGE
I have heard the Frenchman hath good skill
in his rapier.
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SHALLOW
220
Tut, sir, I could have told you more. In these
times you stand on distance—your passes, stoccados,
and I know not what. ’Tis the heart, Master
Page; ’tis here, ’tis here. I have seen the time, with
my long sword I would have made you four tall
225
fellows skip like rats.
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SHALLOW
times you stand on distance—your passes, stoccados,
and I know not what. ’Tis the heart, Master
Page; ’tis here, ’tis here. I have seen the time, with
my long sword I would have made you four tall
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HOST
Here, boys, here, here! Shall we wag?
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HOST
Here, boys, here, here! Shall we wag?
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PAGE
Have with you. I had rather hear them scold
than fight.
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PAGE
Have with you. I had rather hear them scold
than fight.
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PAGE , HOST, and SHALLOW exit.
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PAGE , HOST, and SHALLOW exit.
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FORD
Though Page be a secure fool and stands so
230
firmly on his wife’s frailty, yet I cannot put off my
opinion so easily. She was in his company at Page’s
house, and what they made there I know not. Well,
I will look further into ’t, and I have a disguise to
sound Falstaff. If I find her honest, I lose not my
235
f labor. If she be otherwise, ’tis labor well bestowed.
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FORD
Though Page be a secure fool and stands so
opinion so easily. She was in his company at Page’s
house, and what they made there I know not. Well,
I will look further into ’t, and I have a disguise to
sound Falstaff. If I find her honest, I lose not my
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He exits.
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He exits.
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Original Text |
Modern Text |
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Enter MISTRESS PAGE reading a letter.
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Enter MISTRESS PAGE reading a letter.
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MISTRESS PAGE
What, have I ’scaped love letters in
the holiday time of my beauty, and am I now a
subject for them? Let me see.
She reads.
Ask me no reason why I love you, for though Love
5
use Reason for his precisian, he admits him not for
his counselor. You are not young; no more am I. Go
to, then, there’s sympathy. You are merry; so am I.
Ha, ha, then, there’s more sympathy. You love sack,
and so do I. Would you desire better sympathy? Let
10
it suffice thee, Mistress Page—at the least, if the love
of soldier can suffice—that I love thee. I will not say
pity me—’tis not a soldier-like phrase—but I say love
me. By me,
Thine own true knight,
15
By day or night,
Or any kind of light,
With all his might
For thee to fight,
John Falstaff.
20
What a Herod of Jewry is this! O wicked, wicked
world! One that is well-nigh worn to pieces with
age, to show himself a young gallant! What an
unweighed behavior hath this Flemish drunkard
picked—with the devil’s name!—out of my conversation,
25
that he dares in this manner assay me?
Why, he hath not been thrice in my company!
What should I say to him? I was then frugal of my
mirth. Heaven forgive me! Why, I’ll exhibit a bill
in the Parliament for the putting down of men.
30
How shall I be revenged on him? For revenged I
will be, as sure as his guts are made of puddings.
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MISTRESS PAGE
What, have I ’scaped love letters in
the holiday time of my beauty, and am I now a
subject for them? Let me see.
She reads.
Ask me no reason why I love you, for though Love
his counselor. You are not young; no more am I. Go
to, then, there’s sympathy. You are merry; so am I.
Ha, ha, then, there’s more sympathy. You love sack,
and so do I. Would you desire better sympathy? Let
of soldier can suffice—that I love thee. I will not say
pity me—’tis not a soldier-like phrase—but I say love
me. By me,
Thine own true knight,
Or any kind of light,
With all his might
For thee to fight,
John Falstaff.
world! One that is well-nigh worn to pieces with
age, to show himself a young gallant! What an
unweighed behavior hath this Flemish drunkard
picked—with the devil’s name!—out of my conversation,
Why, he hath not been thrice in my company!
What should I say to him? I was then frugal of my
mirth. Heaven forgive me! Why, I’ll exhibit a bill
in the Parliament for the putting down of men.
will be, as sure as his guts are made of puddings.
|
|
Enter MISTRESS FORD.
|
Enter MISTRESS FORD.
|
|
MISTRESS FORD
Mistress Page! Trust me, I was going to
your house.
|
MISTRESS FORD
Mistress Page! Trust me, I was going to
your house.
|
|
MISTRESS PAGE
And, trust me, I was coming to you.
35
You look very ill.
|
MISTRESS PAGE
And, trust me, I was coming to you.
|
|
MISTRESS FORD
Nay, I’ll ne’er believe that. I have to
show to the contrary.
|
MISTRESS FORD
Nay, I’ll ne’er believe that. I have to
show to the contrary.
|
|
MISTRESS PAGE
Faith, but you do, in my mind.
|
MISTRESS PAGE
Faith, but you do, in my mind.
|
|
MISTRESS FORD
Well, I do, then. Yet I say I could show
40
you to the contrary. O Mistress Page, give me some
counsel.
|
MISTRESS FORD
Well, I do, then. Yet I say I could show
counsel.
|
|
MISTRESS PAGE
What’s the matter, woman?
|
MISTRESS PAGE
What’s the matter, woman?
|
|
MISTRESS FORD
O woman, if it were not for one trifling
respect, I could come to such honor!
|
MISTRESS FORD
O woman, if it were not for one trifling
respect, I could come to such honor!
|
|
MISTRESS PAGE
45
Hang the trifle, woman; take the honor.
What is it? Dispense with trifles. What is it?
|
MISTRESS PAGE
What is it? Dispense with trifles. What is it?
|
|
MISTRESS FORD
If I would but go to hell for an eternal
moment or so, I could be knighted.
|
MISTRESS FORD
If I would but go to hell for an eternal
moment or so, I could be knighted.
|
|
MISTRESS PAGE
What, thou liest! Sir Alice Ford? These
50
knights will hack, and so thou shouldst not alter
the article of thy gentry.
|
MISTRESS PAGE
What, thou liest! Sir Alice Ford? These
the article of thy gentry.
|
|
MISTRESS FORD
We burn daylight. Here, read, read. Perceive
how I might be knighted.
(She gives a paper
to MISTRESS PAGE, who reads it.) I shall think the
55
worse of fat men as long as I have an eye to make
difference of men’s liking. And yet he would not
swear; praised women’s modesty; and gave such
orderly and well-behaved reproof to all uncomeliness
that I would have sworn his disposition
60
would have gone to the truth of his words. But
they do no more adhere and keep place together
than the Hundredth Psalm to the tune of
“Greensleeves.” What tempest, I trow, threw this
whale, with so many tuns of oil in his belly, ashore
65
at Windsor? How shall I be revenged on him? I
think the best way were to entertain him with hope
till the wicked fire of lust have melted him in his
own grease. Did you ever hear the like?
|
MISTRESS FORD
We burn daylight. Here, read, read. Perceive
how I might be knighted.
(She gives a paper
to MISTRESS PAGE, who reads it.) I shall think the
difference of men’s liking. And yet he would not
swear; praised women’s modesty; and gave such
orderly and well-behaved reproof to all uncomeliness
that I would have sworn his disposition
they do no more adhere and keep place together
than the Hundredth Psalm to the tune of
“Greensleeves.” What tempest, I trow, threw this
whale, with so many tuns of oil in his belly, ashore
think the best way were to entertain him with hope
till the wicked fire of lust have melted him in his
own grease. Did you ever hear the like?
|
|
MISTRESS PAGE
Letter for letter, but that the name of
70
Page and Ford differs! To thy great comfort in this
mystery of ill opinions, here’s the twin brother of
thy letter.
(She gives a paper to MISTRESS FORD, who
reads it.) But let thine inherit first, for I protest
mine never shall. I warrant he hath a thousand of
75
these letters writ with blank space for different
names—sure, more—and these are of the second
edition. He will print them, out of doubt; for he
cares not what he puts into the press, when he
would put us two. I had rather be a giantess and lie
80
under Mount Pelion. Well, I will find you twenty
lascivious turtles ere one chaste man.
|
MISTRESS PAGE
Letter for letter, but that the name of
mystery of ill opinions, here’s the twin brother of
thy letter.
(She gives a paper to MISTRESS FORD, who
reads it.) But let thine inherit first, for I protest
mine never shall. I warrant he hath a thousand of
names—sure, more—and these are of the second
edition. He will print them, out of doubt; for he
cares not what he puts into the press, when he
would put us two. I had rather be a giantess and lie
lascivious turtles ere one chaste man.
|
|
MISTRESS FORD
Why, this is the very same—the very
hand, the very words. What doth he think of us?
|
MISTRESS FORD
Why, this is the very same—the very
hand, the very words. What doth he think of us?
|
|
MISTRESS PAGE
Nay, I know not. It makes me almost
85
ready to wrangle with mine own honesty. I’ll entertain
myself like one that I am not acquainted
withal; for, sure, unless he know some strain in
me that I know not myself, he would never have
boarded me in this fury.
|
MISTRESS PAGE
Nay, I know not. It makes me almost
myself like one that I am not acquainted
withal; for, sure, unless he know some strain in
me that I know not myself, he would never have
boarded me in this fury.
|
|
MISTRESS FORD
90
“Boarding” call you it? I’ll be sure to
keep him above deck.
|
MISTRESS FORD
keep him above deck.
|
|
MISTRESS PAGE
So will I. If he come under my hatches,
I’ll never to sea again. Let’s be revenged on him.
Let’s appoint him a meeting, give him a show of
95
comfort in his suit, and lead him on with a fine-baited
delay till he hath pawned his horses to mine
Host of the Garter.
|
MISTRESS PAGE
So will I. If he come under my hatches,
I’ll never to sea again. Let’s be revenged on him.
Let’s appoint him a meeting, give him a show of
delay till he hath pawned his horses to mine
Host of the Garter.
|
|
MISTRESS FORD
Nay, I will consent to act any villainy
against him that may not sully the chariness of our
100
honesty. O, that my husband saw this letter! It
would give eternal food to his jealousy.
|
MISTRESS FORD
Nay, I will consent to act any villainy
against him that may not sully the chariness of our
would give eternal food to his jealousy.
|
|
MISTRESS PAGE
Why, look where he comes, and my
good man too. He’s as far from jealousy as I am
from giving him cause, and that, I hope, is an
105
unmeasurable distance.
|
MISTRESS PAGE
Why, look where he comes, and my
good man too. He’s as far from jealousy as I am
from giving him cause, and that, I hope, is an
|
|
MISTRESS FORD
You are the happier woman.
|
MISTRESS FORD
You are the happier woman.
|
|
MISTRESS PAGE
Let’s consult together against this greasy
knight. Come hither.
They talk aside.
|
MISTRESS PAGE
Let’s consult together against this greasy
knight. Come hither.
They talk aside.
|
|
Enter FORD with PISTOL, and PAGE with NYM.
|
Enter FORD with PISTOL, and PAGE with NYM.
|
|
FORD
Well, I hope it be not so.
|
FORD
Well, I hope it be not so.
|
|
PISTOL
110
Hope is a curtal dog in some affairs.
Sir John affects thy wife.
|
PISTOL
Sir John affects thy wife.
|
|
FORD
Why, sir, my wife is not young.
|
FORD
Why, sir, my wife is not young.
|
|
PISTOL
He woos both high and low, both rich and poor,
Both young and old, one with another, Ford.
115
He loves the gallimaufry. Ford, perpend.
|
PISTOL
He woos both high and low, both rich and poor,
Both young and old, one with another, Ford.
|
|
FORD
Love my wife?
|
FORD
Love my wife?
|
|
PISTOL
With liver burning hot. Prevent,
Or go thou like Sir Acteon, he,
With Ringwood at thy heels.
120
O, odious is the name!
|
PISTOL
With liver burning hot. Prevent,
Or go thou like Sir Acteon, he,
With Ringwood at thy heels.
|
|
FORD
What name, sir?
|
FORD
What name, sir?
|
|
PISTOL
The horn, I say. Farewell.
Take heed, have open eye, for thieves do foot by
night.
125
Take heed, ere summer comes or cuckoo birds do
sing.—
Away, Sir Corporal Nym.—Believe it, Page. He
speaks sense.
|
PISTOL
The horn, I say. Farewell.
Take heed, have open eye, for thieves do foot by
night.
sing.—
Away, Sir Corporal Nym.—Believe it, Page. He
speaks sense.
|
|
He exits.
|
He exits.
|
|
FORD ,
aside
I will be patient. I will find out this.
|
FORD ,
aside
I will be patient. I will find out this.
|
|
NYM ,
to PAGE
130
And this is true. I like not the humor of
lying. He hath wronged me in some humors. I
should have borne the humored letter to her; but I
have a sword, and it shall bite upon my necessity.
He loves your wife; there’s the short and the long.
135
My name is Corporal Nym. I speak and I avouch.
’Tis true. My name is Nym, and Falstaff loves your
wife. Adieu. I love not the humor of bread and
cheese. Adieu.
|
NYM ,
to PAGE
What I’m going to tell you is true. I don’t like lying. Falstaff has wronged me a few times, but I have a sword that can cut when I need it to. He loves your wife, and that’s the truth.
My name is Corporal Nym. When I speak, I speak facts. It's true. As sure as my name is Nym, Falstaff loves your wife.
Goodbye. I can’t live on the ways of bread and cheese alone. Goodbye.
|
|
He exits.
|
He exits.
|
|
PAGE ,
aside
“The humor of it,” quoth he? Here’s a fellow
140
frights English out of his wits.
|
PAGE ,
aside
“The humor of it,” quoth he? Here’s a fellow
|
|
FORD ,
aside
I will seek out Falstaff.
|
FORD ,
aside
I will seek out Falstaff.
|
|
PAGE ,
aside
I never heard such a drawling, affecting
rogue.
|
PAGE ,
aside
I never heard such a drawling, affecting
rogue.
|
|
FORD ,
aside
If I do find it—well.
|
FORD ,
aside
If I do find it—well.
|
|
PAGE ,
aside
145
I will not believe such a Cataian, though
the priest o’ th’ town commended him for a true
man.
|
PAGE ,
aside
the priest o’ th’ town commended him for a true
man.
|
|
FORD ,
aside
’Twas a good sensible fellow—well.
|
FORD ,
aside
’Twas a good sensible fellow—well.
|
|
MISTRESS PAGE and MISTRESS FORD come forward.
|
MISTRESS PAGE and MISTRESS FORD come forward.
|
|
PAGE ,
to MISTRESS PAGE
How now, Meg?
|
PAGE ,
to MISTRESS PAGE
How now, Meg?
|
|
MISTRESS PAGE
150
Whither go you, George? Hark you.
|
MISTRESS PAGE
|
|
They talk aside.
|
They talk aside.
|
|
MISTRESS FORD ,
to FORD
How now, sweet Frank? Why
art thou melancholy?
|
MISTRESS FORD ,
to FORD
How now, sweet Frank? Why
art thou melancholy?
|
|
FORD
I melancholy? I am not melancholy. Get you
home. Go.
|
FORD
I melancholy? I am not melancholy. Get you
home. Go.
|
|
MISTRESS FORD
155
Faith, thou hast some crochets in thy
head now.—Will you go, Mistress Page?
|
MISTRESS FORD
head now.—Will you go, Mistress Page?
|
|
MISTRESS PAGE
Have with you.—You’ll come to dinner,
George?
(Aside to MISTRESS FORD.) Look who
comes yonder.
Enter MISTRESS QUICKLY.
160
She shall be our messenger to this paltry knight.
|
MISTRESS PAGE
Have with you.—You’ll come to dinner,
George?
(Aside to MISTRESS FORD.) Look who
comes yonder.
Enter MISTRESS QUICKLY.
|
|
MISTRESS FORD
Trust me, I thought on her. She’ll fit it.
|
MISTRESS FORD
Trust me, I thought on her. She’ll fit it.
|
|
MISTRESS PAGE ,
to MISTRESS QUICKLY
You are come to
see my daughter Anne?
|
MISTRESS PAGE ,
to MISTRESS QUICKLY
You are come to
see my daughter Anne?
|
|
MISTRESS QUICKLY
Ay, forsooth. And, I pray, how does
165
good Mistress Anne?
|
MISTRESS QUICKLY
Ay, forsooth. And, I pray, how does
|
|
MISTRESS PAGE
Go in with us and see. We have an
hour’s talk with you.
|
MISTRESS PAGE
Go in with us and see. We have an
hour’s talk with you.
|
|
MISTRESS PAGE , MISTRESS FORD, and
MISTRESS QUICKLY exit.
|
MISTRESS PAGE , MISTRESS FORD, and
MISTRESS QUICKLY exit.
|
|
PAGE
How now, Master Ford?
|
PAGE
How now, Master Ford?
|
|
FORD
You heard what this knave told me, did you not?
|
FORD
You heard what this knave told me, did you not?
|
|
PAGE
170
Yes, and you heard what the other told me?
|
PAGE
|
|
FORD
Do you think there is truth in them?
|
FORD
Do you think there is truth in them?
|
|
PAGE
Hang ’em, slaves! I do not think the knight
would offer it. But these that accuse him in his intent
towards our wives are a yoke of his discarded
175
men, very rogues, now they be out of service.
|
PAGE
Hang ’em, slaves! I do not think the knight
would offer it. But these that accuse him in his intent
towards our wives are a yoke of his discarded
|
|
FORD
Were they his men?
|
FORD
Were they his men?
|
|
PAGE
Marry, were they.
|
PAGE
Marry, were they.
|
|
FORD
I like it never the better for that. Does he lie at
the Garter?
|
FORD
I like it never the better for that. Does he lie at
the Garter?
|
|
PAGE
180
Ay, marry, does he. If he should intend this voyage
toward my wife, I would turn her loose to him;
and what he gets more of her than sharp words, let
it lie on my head.
|
PAGE
toward my wife, I would turn her loose to him;
and what he gets more of her than sharp words, let
it lie on my head.
|
|
FORD
I do not misdoubt my wife, but I would be loath
185
to turn them together. A man may be too confident.
I would have nothing lie on my head. I cannot
be thus satisfied.
|
FORD
I do not misdoubt my wife, but I would be loath
I would have nothing lie on my head. I cannot
be thus satisfied.
|
|
Enter HOST.
|
Enter HOST.
|
|
PAGE
Look where my ranting Host of the Garter
comes. There is either liquor in his pate or money
190
in his purse when he looks so merrily.—How now,
mine Host?
|
PAGE
Look where my ranting Host of the Garter
comes. There is either liquor in his pate or money
mine Host?
|
|
HOST
How now, bullyrook? Thou ’rt a gentleman.—
Cavaleiro Justice, I say!
|
HOST
How now, bullyrook? Thou ’rt a gentleman.—
Cavaleiro Justice, I say!
|
|
Enter SHALLOW.
|
Enter SHALLOW.
|
|
SHALLOW
I follow, mine Host, I follow.—Good even
195
and twenty, good Master Page. Master Page, will
you go with us? We have sport in hand.
|
SHALLOW
I follow, mine Host, I follow.—Good even
you go with us? We have sport in hand.
|
|
HOST
Tell him, Cavaleiro Justice; tell him, bullyrook.
|
HOST
Tell him, Cavaleiro Justice; tell him, bullyrook.
|
|
SHALLOW
Sir, there is a fray to be fought between
Sir Hugh the Welsh priest and Caius the French
200
doctor.
|
SHALLOW
Sir, there is a fray to be fought between
Sir Hugh the Welsh priest and Caius the French
|
|
FORD
Good mine Host o’ th’ Garter, a word with you.
|
FORD
Good mine Host o’ th’ Garter, a word with you.
|
|
HOST
What say’st thou, my bullyrook?
|
HOST
What say’st thou, my bullyrook?
|
|
The HOST and FORD talk aside.
|
The HOST and FORD talk aside.
|
|
SHALLOW ,
to PAGE
Will you go with us to behold it?
My merry Host hath had the measuring of their
205
weapons and, I think, hath appointed them contrary
places; for, believe me, I hear the parson is no
jester. Hark, I will tell you what our sport shall be.
|
SHALLOW ,
to PAGE
Will you go with us to behold it?
My merry Host hath had the measuring of their
places; for, believe me, I hear the parson is no
jester. Hark, I will tell you what our sport shall be.
|
|
SHALLOW and PAGE talk aside.
|
SHALLOW and PAGE talk aside.
|
|
HOST ,
to FORD
Hast thou no suit against my knight,
my guest cavalier?
|
HOST ,
to FORD
Hast thou no suit against my knight,
my guest cavalier?
|
|
FORD
210
None, I protest. But I’ll give you a pottle of
burnt sack to give me recourse to him, and tell him
my name is Brook —only for a jest.
|
FORD
burnt sack to give me recourse to him, and tell him
my name is Brook —only for a jest.
|
|
HOST
My hand, bully. Thou shalt have egress and
regress—said I well?—and thy name shall be
215
Brook. It is a merry knight.
(To SHALLOW and
PAGE .) Will you go, ameers?
|
HOST
My hand, bully. Thou shalt have egress and
regress—said I well?—and thy name shall be
PAGE .) Will you go, ameers?
|
|
SHALLOW
Have with you, mine Host.
|
SHALLOW
Have with you, mine Host.
|
|
PAGE
I have heard the Frenchman hath good skill
in his rapier.
|
PAGE
I have heard the Frenchman hath good skill
in his rapier.
|
|
SHALLOW
220
Tut, sir, I could have told you more. In these
times you stand on distance—your passes, stoccados,
and I know not what. ’Tis the heart, Master
Page; ’tis here, ’tis here. I have seen the time, with
my long sword I would have made you four tall
225
fellows skip like rats.
|
SHALLOW
times you stand on distance—your passes, stoccados,
and I know not what. ’Tis the heart, Master
Page; ’tis here, ’tis here. I have seen the time, with
my long sword I would have made you four tall
|
|
HOST
Here, boys, here, here! Shall we wag?
|
HOST
Here, boys, here, here! Shall we wag?
|
|
PAGE
Have with you. I had rather hear them scold
than fight.
|
PAGE
Have with you. I had rather hear them scold
than fight.
|
|
PAGE , HOST, and SHALLOW exit.
|
PAGE , HOST, and SHALLOW exit.
|
|
FORD
Though Page be a secure fool and stands so
230
firmly on his wife’s frailty, yet I cannot put off my
opinion so easily. She was in his company at Page’s
house, and what they made there I know not. Well,
I will look further into ’t, and I have a disguise to
sound Falstaff. If I find her honest, I lose not my
235
f labor. If she be otherwise, ’tis labor well bestowed.
|
FORD
Though Page be a secure fool and stands so
opinion so easily. She was in his company at Page’s
house, and what they made there I know not. Well,
I will look further into ’t, and I have a disguise to
sound Falstaff. If I find her honest, I lose not my
|
|
He exits.
|
He exits.
|
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