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Original Text

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Enter SIR HUGH EVANS (with a book and a sword) and SIMPLE (carrying Sir Hugh’s gown).
Enter SIR HUGH EVANS (with a book and a sword) and SIMPLE (carrying Sir Hugh’s gown).
SIR HUGH
I pray you now, good Master Slender’s servingman
and friend Simple by your name, which
way have you looked for Master Caius, that calls
himself doctor of physic?
SIR HUGH
I pray you now, good Master Slender’s servingman
and friend Simple by your name, which
way have you looked for Master Caius, that calls
himself doctor of physic?
SIMPLE
5
Marry, sir, the Petty-ward, the Park-ward,
every way; Old Windsor way, and every way but
the town way.
SIMPLE
5
Marry, sir, the Petty-ward, the Park-ward,
every way; Old Windsor way, and every way but
the town way.
SIR HUGH
I most fehemently desire you, you will also
look that way.
SIR HUGH
I most fehemently desire you, you will also
look that way.
SIMPLE
10
I will, sir. He exits.
SIMPLE
10
I will, sir. He exits.
SIR HUGH
Pless my soul, how full of cholers I am, and
trempling of mind! I shall be glad if he have deceived
me. How melancholies I am! I will knog his
urinals about his knave’s costard when I have good
15
opportunities for the ’ork. Pless my soul!
(Sings.)
To shallow rivers, to whose falls
Melodious birds sings madrigals.
There will we make our peds of roses
And a thousand fragrant posies.
20
To shallow—
Mercy on me, I have a great dispositions to cry.
(Sings.)
Melodious birds sing madrigals—
Whenas I sat in Pabylon—
And a thousand vagram posies.
25
To shallow rivers, to whose falls
Melodious birds sings madrigals.
SIR HUGH
Pless my soul, how full of cholers I am, and
trempling of mind! I shall be glad if he have deceived
me. How melancholies I am! I will knog his
urinals about his knave’s costard when I have good
15
opportunities for the ’ork. Pless my soul!
(Sings.)
To shallow rivers, to whose falls
Melodious birds sings madrigals.
There will we make our peds of roses
And a thousand fragrant posies.
20
To shallow—
Mercy on me, I have a great dispositions to cry.
(Sings.)
Melodious birds sing madrigals—
Whenas I sat in Pabylon—
And a thousand vagram posies.
25
To shallow rivers, to whose falls
Melodious birds sings madrigals.
Enter SIMPLE.
Enter SIMPLE.
SIMPLE
Yonder he is, coming this way, Sir Hugh.
SIMPLE
Yonder he is, coming this way, Sir Hugh.
SIR HUGH
He’s welcome.
(Sings.)
To shallow rivers, to whose falls—
30
Heaven prosper the right! What weapons is he?
SIR HUGH
He’s welcome.
(Sings.)
To shallow rivers, to whose falls—
30
Heaven prosper the right! What weapons is he?
SIMPLE
No weapons, sir. There comes my master,
Master Shallow, and another gentleman, from
Frogmore, over the stile, this way.
SIMPLE
No weapons, sir. There comes my master,
Master Shallow, and another gentleman, from
Frogmore, over the stile, this way.
SIR HUGH
Pray you, give me my gown—or else keep it
35
in your arms.
SIR HUGH
Pray you, give me my gown—or else keep it
35
in your arms.
Enter PAGE, SHALLOW, and SLENDER.
Enter PAGE, SHALLOW, and SLENDER.
SHALLOW
How now, Master Parson? Good morrow,
good Sir Hugh. Keep a gamester from the dice,
and a good student from his book, and it is
wonderful.
SHALLOW
How now, Master Parson? Good morrow,
good Sir Hugh. Keep a gamester from the dice,
and a good student from his book, and it is
wonderful.
SLENDER , aside
40
Ah, sweet Anne Page!
SLENDER , aside
40
Ah, sweet Anne Page!
PAGE
God save you, good Sir Hugh!
PAGE
God save you, good Sir Hugh!
SIR HUGH
God pless you from His mercy sake, all of
you!
SIR HUGH
God pless you from His mercy sake, all of
you!
SHALLOW
What, the sword and the word? Do you
45
study them both, Master Parson?
SHALLOW
What, the sword and the word? Do you
45
study them both, Master Parson?
PAGE
And youthful still—in your doublet and hose
this raw rheumatic day?
PAGE
And youthful still—in your doublet and hose
this raw rheumatic day?
SIR HUGH
There is reasons and causes for it.
SIR HUGH
There is reasons and causes for it.
PAGE
We are come to you to do a good office, Master
50
Parson.
PAGE
We are come to you to do a good office, Master
50
Parson.
SIR HUGH
Fery well. What is it?
SIR HUGH
Fery well. What is it?
PAGE
Yonder is a most reverend gentleman who, belike
having received wrong by some person, is at
most odds with his own gravity and patience that
55
ever you saw.
PAGE
Yonder is a most reverend gentleman who, belike
having received wrong by some person, is at
most odds with his own gravity and patience that
55
ever you saw.
SHALLOW
I have lived fourscore years and upward. I
never heard a man of his place, gravity, and learning
so wide of his own respect.
SHALLOW
I have lived fourscore years and upward. I
never heard a man of his place, gravity, and learning
so wide of his own respect.
SIR HUGH
What is he?
SIR HUGH
What is he?
PAGE
60
I think you know him: Master Doctor Caius, the
renowned French physician.
PAGE
60
I think you know him: Master Doctor Caius, the
renowned French physician.
SIR HUGH
Got’s will and His passion of my heart! I had
as lief you would tell me of a mess of porridge.
SIR HUGH
Got’s will and His passion of my heart! I had
as lief you would tell me of a mess of porridge.
PAGE
Why?
PAGE
Why?
SIR HUGH
65
He has no more knowledge in Hibbocrates
and Galen—and he is a knave besides, a cowardly
knave as you would desires to be acquainted
withal.
SIR HUGH
65
He has no more knowledge in Hibbocrates
and Galen—and he is a knave besides, a cowardly
knave as you would desires to be acquainted
withal.
PAGE , to SHALLOW
I warrant you, he’s the man should
70
fight with him.
PAGE , to SHALLOW
I warrant you, he’s the man should
70
fight with him.
SLENDER , aside
O, sweet Anne Page!
SLENDER , aside
O, sweet Anne Page!
SHALLOW
It appears so by his weapons. Keep them
asunder. Here comes Doctor Caius.
SHALLOW
It appears so by his weapons. Keep them
asunder. Here comes Doctor Caius.
Enter HOST, DOCTOR CAIUS, and RUGBY. CAIUS and SIR HUGH offer to fight.
Enter HOST, DOCTOR CAIUS, and RUGBY. CAIUS and SIR HUGH offer to fight.
PAGE
Nay, good Master Parson, keep in your weapon.
PAGE
Nay, good Master Parson, keep in your weapon.
SHALLOW
75
So do you, good Master Doctor.
SHALLOW
75
So do you, good Master Doctor.
HOST
Disarm them, and let them question. Let them
keep their limbs whole and hack our English.
HOST
Disarm them, and let them question. Let them
keep their limbs whole and hack our English.
PAGE and SHALLOW disarm CAIUS and SIR HUGH.
PAGE and SHALLOW disarm CAIUS and SIR HUGH.
DOCTOR CAIUS , to SIR HUGH
I pray you, let-a me speak
a word with your ear. Verefore vill you not
80
meet-a me?
DOCTOR CAIUS , to SIR HUGH
I pray you, let-a me speak
a word with your ear. Verefore vill you not
80
meet-a me?
SIR HUGH , aside to CAIUS
Pray you, use your patience.
(Aloud.) In good time.
SIR HUGH , aside to CAIUS
Pray you, use your patience.
(Aloud.) In good time.
DOCTOR CAIUS
By gar, you are de coward, de Jack dog,
John ape.
DOCTOR CAIUS
By gar, you are de coward, de Jack dog,
John ape.
SIR HUGH , aside to CAIUS
85
Pray you, let us not be
laughing-stocks to other men’s humors. I desire
you in friendship, and I will one way or other
make you amends. (Aloud.) By Jeshu, I will knog
your urinal about your knave’s cogscomb.
SIR HUGH , aside to CAIUS
85
Pray you, let us not be
laughing-stocks to other men’s humors. I desire
you in friendship, and I will one way or other
make you amends. (Aloud.) By Jeshu, I will knog
your urinal about your knave’s cogscomb.
DOCTOR CAIUS
90
Diable! Jack Rugby, mine Host de Jarteer,
have I not stay for him to kill him? Have I not,
at de place I did appoint?
DOCTOR CAIUS
90
Diable! Jack Rugby, mine Host de Jarteer,
have I not stay for him to kill him? Have I not,
at de place I did appoint?
SIR HUGH
As I am a Christians soul, now look you, this
is the place appointed. I’ll be judgment by mine
95
Host of the Garter.
SIR HUGH
As I am a Christians soul, now look you, this
is the place appointed. I’ll be judgment by mine
95
Host of the Garter.
HOST
Peace, I say, Gallia and Gaul, French and Welsh,
soul-curer and body-curer!
HOST
Peace, I say, Gallia and Gaul, French and Welsh,
soul-curer and body-curer!
DOCTOR CAIUS
Ay, dat is very good, excellent.
DOCTOR CAIUS
Ay, dat is very good, excellent.
HOST
Peace, I say! Hear mine Host of the Garter. Am
100
I politic? Am I subtle? Am I a Machiavel? Shall I
lose my doctor? No, he gives me the potions and
the motions. Shall I lose my parson, my priest, my
Sir Hugh? No, he gives me the proverbs and the
no-verbs. (To CAIUS.) Give me thy hand, terrestrial;
105
so. (To SIR HUGH.) Give me thy hand, celestial;
so. Boys of art, I have deceived you both. I
have directed you to wrong places. Your hearts are
mighty, your skins are whole, and let burnt sack be
the issue. (To PAGE and SHALLOW.) Come, lay their
110
swords to pawn. (To CAIUS and SIR HUGH.) Follow
me, lads of peace, follow, follow, follow.
HOST
Peace, I say! Hear mine Host of the Garter. Am
100
I politic? Am I subtle? Am I a Machiavel? Shall I
lose my doctor? No, he gives me the potions and
the motions. Shall I lose my parson, my priest, my
Sir Hugh? No, he gives me the proverbs and the
no-verbs. (To CAIUS.) Give me thy hand, terrestrial;
105
so. (To SIR HUGH.) Give me thy hand, celestial;
so. Boys of art, I have deceived you both. I
have directed you to wrong places. Your hearts are
mighty, your skins are whole, and let burnt sack be
the issue. (To PAGE and SHALLOW.) Come, lay their
110
swords to pawn. (To CAIUS and SIR HUGH.) Follow
me, lads of peace, follow, follow, follow.
HOST exits.
HOST exits.
SHALLOW
Afore God, a mad Host. Follow, gentlemen,
follow.
SHALLOW
Afore God, a mad Host. Follow, gentlemen,
follow.
SLENDER , aside
O, sweet Anne Page!
SLENDER , aside
O, sweet Anne Page!
SHALLOW , PAGE, and SLENDER exit.
SHALLOW , PAGE, and SLENDER exit.
DOCTOR CAIUS
115
Ha, do I perceive dat? Have you make-a
de sot of us, ha, ha?
DOCTOR CAIUS
115
Ha, do I perceive dat? Have you make-a
de sot of us, ha, ha?
SIR HUGH
This is well! He has made us his vloutingstog.
I desire you that we may be friends, and let
us knog our prains together to be revenge on this
120
same scall, scurvy, cogging companion, the Host of
the Garter.
SIR HUGH
This is well! He has made us his vloutingstog.
I desire you that we may be friends, and let
us knog our prains together to be revenge on this
120
same scall, scurvy, cogging companion, the Host of
the Garter.
DOCTOR CAIUS
By gar, with all my heart. He promise
to bring me where is Anne Page. By gar, he deceive
me too.
DOCTOR CAIUS
By gar, with all my heart. He promise
to bring me where is Anne Page. By gar, he deceive
me too.
SIR HUGH
125
Well, I will smite his noddles. Pray you,
follow.
SIR HUGH
125
Well, I will smite his noddles. Pray you,
follow.
SIR HUGH , CAIUS, SIMPLE, and RUGBY exit.
SIR HUGH , CAIUS, SIMPLE, and RUGBY exit.

Original Text

Modern Text
Enter SIR HUGH EVANS (with a book and a sword) and SIMPLE (carrying Sir Hugh’s gown).
Enter SIR HUGH EVANS (with a book and a sword) and SIMPLE (carrying Sir Hugh’s gown).
SIR HUGH
I pray you now, good Master Slender’s servingman
and friend Simple by your name, which
way have you looked for Master Caius, that calls
himself doctor of physic?
SIR HUGH
I pray you now, good Master Slender’s servingman
and friend Simple by your name, which
way have you looked for Master Caius, that calls
himself doctor of physic?
SIMPLE
5
Marry, sir, the Petty-ward, the Park-ward,
every way; Old Windsor way, and every way but
the town way.
SIMPLE
5
Marry, sir, the Petty-ward, the Park-ward,
every way; Old Windsor way, and every way but
the town way.
SIR HUGH
I most fehemently desire you, you will also
look that way.
SIR HUGH
I most fehemently desire you, you will also
look that way.
SIMPLE
10
I will, sir. He exits.
SIMPLE
10
I will, sir. He exits.
SIR HUGH
Pless my soul, how full of cholers I am, and
trempling of mind! I shall be glad if he have deceived
me. How melancholies I am! I will knog his
urinals about his knave’s costard when I have good
15
opportunities for the ’ork. Pless my soul!
(Sings.)
To shallow rivers, to whose falls
Melodious birds sings madrigals.
There will we make our peds of roses
And a thousand fragrant posies.
20
To shallow—
Mercy on me, I have a great dispositions to cry.
(Sings.)
Melodious birds sing madrigals—
Whenas I sat in Pabylon—
And a thousand vagram posies.
25
To shallow rivers, to whose falls
Melodious birds sings madrigals.
SIR HUGH
Pless my soul, how full of cholers I am, and
trempling of mind! I shall be glad if he have deceived
me. How melancholies I am! I will knog his
urinals about his knave’s costard when I have good
15
opportunities for the ’ork. Pless my soul!
(Sings.)
To shallow rivers, to whose falls
Melodious birds sings madrigals.
There will we make our peds of roses
And a thousand fragrant posies.
20
To shallow—
Mercy on me, I have a great dispositions to cry.
(Sings.)
Melodious birds sing madrigals—
Whenas I sat in Pabylon—
And a thousand vagram posies.
25
To shallow rivers, to whose falls
Melodious birds sings madrigals.
Enter SIMPLE.
Enter SIMPLE.
SIMPLE
Yonder he is, coming this way, Sir Hugh.
SIMPLE
Yonder he is, coming this way, Sir Hugh.
SIR HUGH
He’s welcome.
(Sings.)
To shallow rivers, to whose falls—
30
Heaven prosper the right! What weapons is he?
SIR HUGH
He’s welcome.
(Sings.)
To shallow rivers, to whose falls—
30
Heaven prosper the right! What weapons is he?
SIMPLE
No weapons, sir. There comes my master,
Master Shallow, and another gentleman, from
Frogmore, over the stile, this way.
SIMPLE
No weapons, sir. There comes my master,
Master Shallow, and another gentleman, from
Frogmore, over the stile, this way.
SIR HUGH
Pray you, give me my gown—or else keep it
35
in your arms.
SIR HUGH
Pray you, give me my gown—or else keep it
35
in your arms.
Enter PAGE, SHALLOW, and SLENDER.
Enter PAGE, SHALLOW, and SLENDER.
SHALLOW
How now, Master Parson? Good morrow,
good Sir Hugh. Keep a gamester from the dice,
and a good student from his book, and it is
wonderful.
SHALLOW
How now, Master Parson? Good morrow,
good Sir Hugh. Keep a gamester from the dice,
and a good student from his book, and it is
wonderful.
SLENDER , aside
40
Ah, sweet Anne Page!
SLENDER , aside
40
Ah, sweet Anne Page!
PAGE
God save you, good Sir Hugh!
PAGE
God save you, good Sir Hugh!
SIR HUGH
God pless you from His mercy sake, all of
you!
SIR HUGH
God pless you from His mercy sake, all of
you!
SHALLOW
What, the sword and the word? Do you
45
study them both, Master Parson?
SHALLOW
What, the sword and the word? Do you
45
study them both, Master Parson?
PAGE
And youthful still—in your doublet and hose
this raw rheumatic day?
PAGE
And youthful still—in your doublet and hose
this raw rheumatic day?
SIR HUGH
There is reasons and causes for it.
SIR HUGH
There is reasons and causes for it.
PAGE
We are come to you to do a good office, Master
50
Parson.
PAGE
We are come to you to do a good office, Master
50
Parson.
SIR HUGH
Fery well. What is it?
SIR HUGH
Fery well. What is it?
PAGE
Yonder is a most reverend gentleman who, belike
having received wrong by some person, is at
most odds with his own gravity and patience that
55
ever you saw.
PAGE
Yonder is a most reverend gentleman who, belike
having received wrong by some person, is at
most odds with his own gravity and patience that
55
ever you saw.
SHALLOW
I have lived fourscore years and upward. I
never heard a man of his place, gravity, and learning
so wide of his own respect.
SHALLOW
I have lived fourscore years and upward. I
never heard a man of his place, gravity, and learning
so wide of his own respect.
SIR HUGH
What is he?
SIR HUGH
What is he?
PAGE
60
I think you know him: Master Doctor Caius, the
renowned French physician.
PAGE
60
I think you know him: Master Doctor Caius, the
renowned French physician.
SIR HUGH
Got’s will and His passion of my heart! I had
as lief you would tell me of a mess of porridge.
SIR HUGH
Got’s will and His passion of my heart! I had
as lief you would tell me of a mess of porridge.
PAGE
Why?
PAGE
Why?
SIR HUGH
65
He has no more knowledge in Hibbocrates
and Galen—and he is a knave besides, a cowardly
knave as you would desires to be acquainted
withal.
SIR HUGH
65
He has no more knowledge in Hibbocrates
and Galen—and he is a knave besides, a cowardly
knave as you would desires to be acquainted
withal.
PAGE , to SHALLOW
I warrant you, he’s the man should
70
fight with him.
PAGE , to SHALLOW
I warrant you, he’s the man should
70
fight with him.
SLENDER , aside
O, sweet Anne Page!
SLENDER , aside
O, sweet Anne Page!
SHALLOW
It appears so by his weapons. Keep them
asunder. Here comes Doctor Caius.
SHALLOW
It appears so by his weapons. Keep them
asunder. Here comes Doctor Caius.
Enter HOST, DOCTOR CAIUS, and RUGBY. CAIUS and SIR HUGH offer to fight.
Enter HOST, DOCTOR CAIUS, and RUGBY. CAIUS and SIR HUGH offer to fight.
PAGE
Nay, good Master Parson, keep in your weapon.
PAGE
Nay, good Master Parson, keep in your weapon.
SHALLOW
75
So do you, good Master Doctor.
SHALLOW
75
So do you, good Master Doctor.
HOST
Disarm them, and let them question. Let them
keep their limbs whole and hack our English.
HOST
Disarm them, and let them question. Let them
keep their limbs whole and hack our English.
PAGE and SHALLOW disarm CAIUS and SIR HUGH.
PAGE and SHALLOW disarm CAIUS and SIR HUGH.
DOCTOR CAIUS , to SIR HUGH
I pray you, let-a me speak
a word with your ear. Verefore vill you not
80
meet-a me?
DOCTOR CAIUS , to SIR HUGH
I pray you, let-a me speak
a word with your ear. Verefore vill you not
80
meet-a me?
SIR HUGH , aside to CAIUS
Pray you, use your patience.
(Aloud.) In good time.
SIR HUGH , aside to CAIUS
Pray you, use your patience.
(Aloud.) In good time.
DOCTOR CAIUS
By gar, you are de coward, de Jack dog,
John ape.
DOCTOR CAIUS
By gar, you are de coward, de Jack dog,
John ape.
SIR HUGH , aside to CAIUS
85
Pray you, let us not be
laughing-stocks to other men’s humors. I desire
you in friendship, and I will one way or other
make you amends. (Aloud.) By Jeshu, I will knog
your urinal about your knave’s cogscomb.
SIR HUGH , aside to CAIUS
85
Pray you, let us not be
laughing-stocks to other men’s humors. I desire
you in friendship, and I will one way or other
make you amends. (Aloud.) By Jeshu, I will knog
your urinal about your knave’s cogscomb.
DOCTOR CAIUS
90
Diable! Jack Rugby, mine Host de Jarteer,
have I not stay for him to kill him? Have I not,
at de place I did appoint?
DOCTOR CAIUS
90
Diable! Jack Rugby, mine Host de Jarteer,
have I not stay for him to kill him? Have I not,
at de place I did appoint?
SIR HUGH
As I am a Christians soul, now look you, this
is the place appointed. I’ll be judgment by mine
95
Host of the Garter.
SIR HUGH
As I am a Christians soul, now look you, this
is the place appointed. I’ll be judgment by mine
95
Host of the Garter.
HOST
Peace, I say, Gallia and Gaul, French and Welsh,
soul-curer and body-curer!
HOST
Peace, I say, Gallia and Gaul, French and Welsh,
soul-curer and body-curer!
DOCTOR CAIUS
Ay, dat is very good, excellent.
DOCTOR CAIUS
Ay, dat is very good, excellent.
HOST
Peace, I say! Hear mine Host of the Garter. Am
100
I politic? Am I subtle? Am I a Machiavel? Shall I
lose my doctor? No, he gives me the potions and
the motions. Shall I lose my parson, my priest, my
Sir Hugh? No, he gives me the proverbs and the
no-verbs. (To CAIUS.) Give me thy hand, terrestrial;
105
so. (To SIR HUGH.) Give me thy hand, celestial;
so. Boys of art, I have deceived you both. I
have directed you to wrong places. Your hearts are
mighty, your skins are whole, and let burnt sack be
the issue. (To PAGE and SHALLOW.) Come, lay their
110
swords to pawn. (To CAIUS and SIR HUGH.) Follow
me, lads of peace, follow, follow, follow.
HOST
Peace, I say! Hear mine Host of the Garter. Am
100
I politic? Am I subtle? Am I a Machiavel? Shall I
lose my doctor? No, he gives me the potions and
the motions. Shall I lose my parson, my priest, my
Sir Hugh? No, he gives me the proverbs and the
no-verbs. (To CAIUS.) Give me thy hand, terrestrial;
105
so. (To SIR HUGH.) Give me thy hand, celestial;
so. Boys of art, I have deceived you both. I
have directed you to wrong places. Your hearts are
mighty, your skins are whole, and let burnt sack be
the issue. (To PAGE and SHALLOW.) Come, lay their
110
swords to pawn. (To CAIUS and SIR HUGH.) Follow
me, lads of peace, follow, follow, follow.
HOST exits.
HOST exits.
SHALLOW
Afore God, a mad Host. Follow, gentlemen,
follow.
SHALLOW
Afore God, a mad Host. Follow, gentlemen,
follow.
SLENDER , aside
O, sweet Anne Page!
SLENDER , aside
O, sweet Anne Page!
SHALLOW , PAGE, and SLENDER exit.
SHALLOW , PAGE, and SLENDER exit.
DOCTOR CAIUS
115
Ha, do I perceive dat? Have you make-a
de sot of us, ha, ha?
DOCTOR CAIUS
115
Ha, do I perceive dat? Have you make-a
de sot of us, ha, ha?
SIR HUGH
This is well! He has made us his vloutingstog.
I desire you that we may be friends, and let
us knog our prains together to be revenge on this
120
same scall, scurvy, cogging companion, the Host of
the Garter.
SIR HUGH
This is well! He has made us his vloutingstog.
I desire you that we may be friends, and let
us knog our prains together to be revenge on this
120
same scall, scurvy, cogging companion, the Host of
the Garter.
DOCTOR CAIUS
By gar, with all my heart. He promise
to bring me where is Anne Page. By gar, he deceive
me too.
DOCTOR CAIUS
By gar, with all my heart. He promise
to bring me where is Anne Page. By gar, he deceive
me too.
SIR HUGH
125
Well, I will smite his noddles. Pray you,
follow.
SIR HUGH
125
Well, I will smite his noddles. Pray you,
follow.
SIR HUGH , CAIUS, SIMPLE, and RUGBY exit.
SIR HUGH , CAIUS, SIMPLE, and RUGBY exit.
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