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Enter ROBIN followed by MISTRESS PAGE.
Enter ROBIN followed by MISTRESS PAGE.
MISTRESS PAGE
Nay, keep your way, little gallant. You
were wont to be a follower, but now you are a
leader. Whether had you rather—lead mine eyes,
or eye your master’s heels?
MISTRESS PAGE
Nay, keep your way, little gallant. You
were wont to be a follower, but now you are a
leader. Whether had you rather—lead mine eyes,
or eye your master’s heels?
ROBIN
5
I had rather, forsooth, go before you like a man
than follow him like a dwarf.
ROBIN
5
I had rather, forsooth, go before you like a man
than follow him like a dwarf.
MISTRESS PAGE
O, you are a flattering boy! Now I see
you’ll be a courtier.
MISTRESS PAGE
O, you are a flattering boy! Now I see
you’ll be a courtier.
Enter FORD.
Enter FORD.
FORD
Well met, Mistress Page. Whither go you?
FORD
Well met, Mistress Page. Whither go you?
MISTRESS PAGE
10
Truly, sir, to see your wife. Is she at
home?
MISTRESS PAGE
10
Truly, sir, to see your wife. Is she at
home?
FORD
Ay, and as idle as she may hang together, for
want of company. I think if your husbands were
dead, you two would marry.
FORD
Ay, and as idle as she may hang together, for
want of company. I think if your husbands were
dead, you two would marry.
MISTRESS PAGE
15
Be sure of that—two other husbands.
MISTRESS PAGE
15
Be sure of that—two other husbands.
FORD
Where had you this pretty weathercock?
FORD
Where had you this pretty weathercock?
MISTRESS PAGE
I cannot tell what the dickens his name
is my husband had him of.—What do you call your
knight’s name, sirrah?
MISTRESS PAGE
I cannot tell what the dickens his name
is my husband had him of.—What do you call your
knight’s name, sirrah?
ROBIN
20
Sir John Falstaff.
ROBIN
20
Sir John Falstaff.
FORD
Sir John Falstaff!
FORD
Sir John Falstaff!
MISTRESS PAGE
He, he. I can never hit on ’s name.
There is such a league between my goodman and
he. Is your wife at home indeed?
MISTRESS PAGE
He, he. I can never hit on ’s name.
There is such a league between my goodman and
he. Is your wife at home indeed?
FORD
25
Indeed, she is.
FORD
25
Indeed, she is.
MISTRESS PAGE
By your leave, sir. I am sick till I see
her. MISTRESS PAGE and ROBIN exit.
MISTRESS PAGE
By your leave, sir. I am sick till I see
her. MISTRESS PAGE and ROBIN exit.
FORD
Has Page any brains? Hath he any eyes? Hath
he any thinking? Sure they sleep; he hath no use
30
of them. Why, this boy will carry a letter twenty
mile as easy as a cannon will shoot point-blank
twelve score. He pieces out his wife’s inclination.
He gives her folly motion and advantage. And now
she’s going to my wife, and Falstaff’s boy with her.
35
A man may hear this shower sing in the wind. And
Falstaff’s boy with her! Good plots they are laid,
and our revolted wives share damnation together.
Well, I will take him, then torture my wife, pluck
the borrowed veil of modesty from the so-seeming
40
Mistress Page, divulge Page himself for a secure
and willful Acteon, and to these violent proceedings
all my neighbors shall cry aim. A clock
strikes. The clock gives me my cue, and my assurance
bids me search. There I shall find Falstaff. I
45
shall be rather praised for this than mocked, for it
is as positive as the earth is firm that Falstaff is
there. I will go.
FORD
Does Page have any brains? Does he have eyes? Can he think at all? His faculties must be asleep. He clearly has no use for them. This servant boy has been carrying messages twenty miles like he was shot out of a cannon. Page is only increasing his wife’s desire to cheat. He’s granting full range of motion to her foolishness. And now she’s going to see my wife, along with Falstaff’s servant boy. Anyone can see that a storm is coming. And Falstaff’s servant is with her! These rebellious wives of ours are both going to hell for their scheming. Well, I’m going to catch Falstaff in the act, punish my wife, expose Mistress Page, and prove to Page that he’s been an overly secure Actaeon

Actaeon is a character in Greek mythology who is turned into a deer. The antlers of a deer were a symbol of a cuckold, a man whose wife has cheated on him.

 . A clock strikes. That’s my cue. I’m sure I’m right about this, so let’s investigate. I just know I’ll find Falstaff with her, and then everyone will stop mocking me and praise me for catching them. As sure as the earth is solid, Falstaff is with her. Time to go find him.
Enter PAGE, SHALLOW, SLENDER, HOST, SIR HUGH EVANS, DOCTOR CAIUS, and RUGBY.
Enter PAGE, SHALLOW, SLENDER, HOST, SIR HUGH EVANS, DOCTOR CAIUS, and RUGBY.
SHALLOW, PAGE, ETC.
Well met, Master Ford.
SHALLOW, PAGE, ETC.
Well met, Master Ford.
FORD
Trust me, a good knot. I have good cheer at
50
home, and I pray you all go with me.
FORD
Trust me, a good knot. I have good cheer at
50
home, and I pray you all go with me.
SHALLOW
I must excuse myself, Master Ford.
SHALLOW
I must excuse myself, Master Ford.
SLENDER
And so must I, sir. We have appointed to dine
with Mistress Anne, and I would not break with
her for more money than I’ll speak of.
SLENDER
And so must I, sir. We have appointed to dine
with Mistress Anne, and I would not break with
her for more money than I’ll speak of.
SHALLOW
55
We have lingered about a match between
Anne Page and my cousin Slender, and this day we
shall have our answer.
SHALLOW
55
We have lingered about a match between
Anne Page and my cousin Slender, and this day we
shall have our answer.
SLENDER
I hope I have your good will, Father Page.
SLENDER
I hope I have your good will, Father Page.
PAGE
You have, Master Slender. I stand wholly for
60
you.—But my wife, Master Doctor, is for you
altogether.
PAGE
You have, Master Slender. I stand wholly for
60
you.—But my wife, Master Doctor, is for you
altogether.
DOCTOR CAIUS
Ay, be-gar, and de maid is love-a me! My
nursh-a Quickly tell me so mush.
DOCTOR CAIUS
Ay, be-gar, and de maid is love-a me! My
nursh-a Quickly tell me so mush.
HOST , to PAGE
What say you to young Master Fenton?
65
He capers, he dances, he has eyes of youth, he
writes verses, he speaks holiday, he smells April
and May. He will carry ’t, he will carry ’t. ’Tis in his
buttons he will carry ’t.
HOST , to PAGE
What say you to young Master Fenton?
65
He capers, he dances, he has eyes of youth, he
writes verses, he speaks holiday, he smells April
and May. He will carry ’t, he will carry ’t. ’Tis in his
buttons he will carry ’t.
PAGE
Not by my consent, I promise you. The gentleman
70
is of no having. He kept company with the
wild Prince and Poins. He is of too high a region;
he knows too much. No, he shall not knit a knot in
his fortunes with the finger of my substance. If he
take her, let him take her simply. The wealth I have
75
waits on my consent, and my consent goes not that
way.
PAGE
Not by my consent, I promise you. The gentleman
70
is of no having. He kept company with the
wild Prince and Poins. He is of too high a region;
he knows too much. No, he shall not knit a knot in
his fortunes with the finger of my substance. If he
take her, let him take her simply. The wealth I have
75
waits on my consent, and my consent goes not that
way.
FORD
I beseech you heartily, some of you go home
with me to dinner. Besides your cheer, you shall
have sport: I will show you a monster. Master Doctor,
80
you shall go.—So shall you, Master Page.—
And you, Sir Hugh.
FORD
I beseech you heartily, some of you go home
with me to dinner. Besides your cheer, you shall
have sport: I will show you a monster. Master Doctor,
80
you shall go.—So shall you, Master Page.—
And you, Sir Hugh.
SHALLOW
Well, fare you well. We shall have the freer
wooing at Master Page’s.
SHALLOW
Well, fare you well. We shall have the freer
wooing at Master Page’s.
SHALLOW and SLENDER exit.
SHALLOW and SLENDER exit.
DOCTOR CAIUS
Go home, John Rugby. I come anon.
DOCTOR CAIUS
Go home, John Rugby. I come anon.
RUGBY exits.
RUGBY exits.
HOST
85
Farewell, my hearts. I will to my honest knight
Falstaff, and drink canary with him. He exits.
HOST
85
Farewell, my hearts. I will to my honest knight
Falstaff, and drink canary with him. He exits.
FORD , aside
I think I shall drink in pipe-wine first
with him; I’ll make him dance.—Will you go,
gentles?
FORD , aside
I think I shall drink in pipe-wine first
with him; I’ll make him dance.—Will you go,
gentles?
PAGE, DOCTOR CAIUS, and SIR HUGH
90
Have with you to
see this monster.
PAGE, DOCTOR CAIUS, and SIR HUGH
90
Have with you to
see this monster.
They exit.
They exit.

Original Text

Modern Text
Enter ROBIN followed by MISTRESS PAGE.
Enter ROBIN followed by MISTRESS PAGE.
MISTRESS PAGE
Nay, keep your way, little gallant. You
were wont to be a follower, but now you are a
leader. Whether had you rather—lead mine eyes,
or eye your master’s heels?
MISTRESS PAGE
Nay, keep your way, little gallant. You
were wont to be a follower, but now you are a
leader. Whether had you rather—lead mine eyes,
or eye your master’s heels?
ROBIN
5
I had rather, forsooth, go before you like a man
than follow him like a dwarf.
ROBIN
5
I had rather, forsooth, go before you like a man
than follow him like a dwarf.
MISTRESS PAGE
O, you are a flattering boy! Now I see
you’ll be a courtier.
MISTRESS PAGE
O, you are a flattering boy! Now I see
you’ll be a courtier.
Enter FORD.
Enter FORD.
FORD
Well met, Mistress Page. Whither go you?
FORD
Well met, Mistress Page. Whither go you?
MISTRESS PAGE
10
Truly, sir, to see your wife. Is she at
home?
MISTRESS PAGE
10
Truly, sir, to see your wife. Is she at
home?
FORD
Ay, and as idle as she may hang together, for
want of company. I think if your husbands were
dead, you two would marry.
FORD
Ay, and as idle as she may hang together, for
want of company. I think if your husbands were
dead, you two would marry.
MISTRESS PAGE
15
Be sure of that—two other husbands.
MISTRESS PAGE
15
Be sure of that—two other husbands.
FORD
Where had you this pretty weathercock?
FORD
Where had you this pretty weathercock?
MISTRESS PAGE
I cannot tell what the dickens his name
is my husband had him of.—What do you call your
knight’s name, sirrah?
MISTRESS PAGE
I cannot tell what the dickens his name
is my husband had him of.—What do you call your
knight’s name, sirrah?
ROBIN
20
Sir John Falstaff.
ROBIN
20
Sir John Falstaff.
FORD
Sir John Falstaff!
FORD
Sir John Falstaff!
MISTRESS PAGE
He, he. I can never hit on ’s name.
There is such a league between my goodman and
he. Is your wife at home indeed?
MISTRESS PAGE
He, he. I can never hit on ’s name.
There is such a league between my goodman and
he. Is your wife at home indeed?
FORD
25
Indeed, she is.
FORD
25
Indeed, she is.
MISTRESS PAGE
By your leave, sir. I am sick till I see
her. MISTRESS PAGE and ROBIN exit.
MISTRESS PAGE
By your leave, sir. I am sick till I see
her. MISTRESS PAGE and ROBIN exit.
FORD
Has Page any brains? Hath he any eyes? Hath
he any thinking? Sure they sleep; he hath no use
30
of them. Why, this boy will carry a letter twenty
mile as easy as a cannon will shoot point-blank
twelve score. He pieces out his wife’s inclination.
He gives her folly motion and advantage. And now
she’s going to my wife, and Falstaff’s boy with her.
35
A man may hear this shower sing in the wind. And
Falstaff’s boy with her! Good plots they are laid,
and our revolted wives share damnation together.
Well, I will take him, then torture my wife, pluck
the borrowed veil of modesty from the so-seeming
40
Mistress Page, divulge Page himself for a secure
and willful Acteon, and to these violent proceedings
all my neighbors shall cry aim. A clock
strikes. The clock gives me my cue, and my assurance
bids me search. There I shall find Falstaff. I
45
shall be rather praised for this than mocked, for it
is as positive as the earth is firm that Falstaff is
there. I will go.
FORD
Does Page have any brains? Does he have eyes? Can he think at all? His faculties must be asleep. He clearly has no use for them. This servant boy has been carrying messages twenty miles like he was shot out of a cannon. Page is only increasing his wife’s desire to cheat. He’s granting full range of motion to her foolishness. And now she’s going to see my wife, along with Falstaff’s servant boy. Anyone can see that a storm is coming. And Falstaff’s servant is with her! These rebellious wives of ours are both going to hell for their scheming. Well, I’m going to catch Falstaff in the act, punish my wife, expose Mistress Page, and prove to Page that he’s been an overly secure Actaeon

Actaeon is a character in Greek mythology who is turned into a deer. The antlers of a deer were a symbol of a cuckold, a man whose wife has cheated on him.

 . A clock strikes. That’s my cue. I’m sure I’m right about this, so let’s investigate. I just know I’ll find Falstaff with her, and then everyone will stop mocking me and praise me for catching them. As sure as the earth is solid, Falstaff is with her. Time to go find him.
Enter PAGE, SHALLOW, SLENDER, HOST, SIR HUGH EVANS, DOCTOR CAIUS, and RUGBY.
Enter PAGE, SHALLOW, SLENDER, HOST, SIR HUGH EVANS, DOCTOR CAIUS, and RUGBY.
SHALLOW, PAGE, ETC.
Well met, Master Ford.
SHALLOW, PAGE, ETC.
Well met, Master Ford.
FORD
Trust me, a good knot. I have good cheer at
50
home, and I pray you all go with me.
FORD
Trust me, a good knot. I have good cheer at
50
home, and I pray you all go with me.
SHALLOW
I must excuse myself, Master Ford.
SHALLOW
I must excuse myself, Master Ford.
SLENDER
And so must I, sir. We have appointed to dine
with Mistress Anne, and I would not break with
her for more money than I’ll speak of.
SLENDER
And so must I, sir. We have appointed to dine
with Mistress Anne, and I would not break with
her for more money than I’ll speak of.
SHALLOW
55
We have lingered about a match between
Anne Page and my cousin Slender, and this day we
shall have our answer.
SHALLOW
55
We have lingered about a match between
Anne Page and my cousin Slender, and this day we
shall have our answer.
SLENDER
I hope I have your good will, Father Page.
SLENDER
I hope I have your good will, Father Page.
PAGE
You have, Master Slender. I stand wholly for
60
you.—But my wife, Master Doctor, is for you
altogether.
PAGE
You have, Master Slender. I stand wholly for
60
you.—But my wife, Master Doctor, is for you
altogether.
DOCTOR CAIUS
Ay, be-gar, and de maid is love-a me! My
nursh-a Quickly tell me so mush.
DOCTOR CAIUS
Ay, be-gar, and de maid is love-a me! My
nursh-a Quickly tell me so mush.
HOST , to PAGE
What say you to young Master Fenton?
65
He capers, he dances, he has eyes of youth, he
writes verses, he speaks holiday, he smells April
and May. He will carry ’t, he will carry ’t. ’Tis in his
buttons he will carry ’t.
HOST , to PAGE
What say you to young Master Fenton?
65
He capers, he dances, he has eyes of youth, he
writes verses, he speaks holiday, he smells April
and May. He will carry ’t, he will carry ’t. ’Tis in his
buttons he will carry ’t.
PAGE
Not by my consent, I promise you. The gentleman
70
is of no having. He kept company with the
wild Prince and Poins. He is of too high a region;
he knows too much. No, he shall not knit a knot in
his fortunes with the finger of my substance. If he
take her, let him take her simply. The wealth I have
75
waits on my consent, and my consent goes not that
way.
PAGE
Not by my consent, I promise you. The gentleman
70
is of no having. He kept company with the
wild Prince and Poins. He is of too high a region;
he knows too much. No, he shall not knit a knot in
his fortunes with the finger of my substance. If he
take her, let him take her simply. The wealth I have
75
waits on my consent, and my consent goes not that
way.
FORD
I beseech you heartily, some of you go home
with me to dinner. Besides your cheer, you shall
have sport: I will show you a monster. Master Doctor,
80
you shall go.—So shall you, Master Page.—
And you, Sir Hugh.
FORD
I beseech you heartily, some of you go home
with me to dinner. Besides your cheer, you shall
have sport: I will show you a monster. Master Doctor,
80
you shall go.—So shall you, Master Page.—
And you, Sir Hugh.
SHALLOW
Well, fare you well. We shall have the freer
wooing at Master Page’s.
SHALLOW
Well, fare you well. We shall have the freer
wooing at Master Page’s.
SHALLOW and SLENDER exit.
SHALLOW and SLENDER exit.
DOCTOR CAIUS
Go home, John Rugby. I come anon.
DOCTOR CAIUS
Go home, John Rugby. I come anon.
RUGBY exits.
RUGBY exits.
HOST
85
Farewell, my hearts. I will to my honest knight
Falstaff, and drink canary with him. He exits.
HOST
85
Farewell, my hearts. I will to my honest knight
Falstaff, and drink canary with him. He exits.
FORD , aside
I think I shall drink in pipe-wine first
with him; I’ll make him dance.—Will you go,
gentles?
FORD , aside
I think I shall drink in pipe-wine first
with him; I’ll make him dance.—Will you go,
gentles?
PAGE, DOCTOR CAIUS, and SIR HUGH
90
Have with you to
see this monster.
PAGE, DOCTOR CAIUS, and SIR HUGH
90
Have with you to
see this monster.
They exit.
They exit.
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